dark knight poster

This is not a movie review. This is an account of the visceral experience that is The Dark Knight.

Why am I not reviewing Batman? Because you should have already made up your mind about whether or not you’re going to see it. If the biggest opening weekend in movie history isn’t enough to make you curious, then any high-flown praise I can offer you won’t be enough, either. But don’t see it for the hype. See it because it’s good. I’ve seen some great movies this summer – Wall-E and Hellboy II to name two – and this one tops them.

Although I was dying to see Batman on opening day, I didn’t sleep the night before because of some weird insomnia, so my brother, his friend, and I got tickets to see it Saturday night. I prepared myself for the event by not watching any previews, not following the Harvey Dent ad campaigns, and not reading any reviews. I wanted an utterly fresh experience.
We picked a small local theater – not too flashy but guaranteed to not have huge lines. We arrived at 7 pm, just as the previews were starting, and got some pretty decent seats. We spent our ride there discussing other people’s driving habits and making sarcastic remarks about the scenic route our driver had chosen. On the way back, no one spoke.

One reviewer called Batman “exhausting,” and it is. My brother first saw the movie on opening night, and he repeated all the way to the theater that Saturday that he slept like a baby after he first saw. After the movie, I suppose I was drained. Something can indeed be said for just literally leaning forward during a third of a movie and watching tense scene after tense scene unfold.

Two and a half hours after we put the quarters into the parking meter, we came out of the theater. “That was awesome!” my brother said. “Every time they had the chance to do something right with the script, they took it,” his friend, a total film buff, said. “You know, I feel like if I talk any more, I won’t be able to say anything about it,” my brother said. And then no one spoke. We drove back in complete silence.

When we got home, my dad asked us how the movie was. “Great,” I said, as if that word meant anything. “I can’t talk about it.” I still have a hard time talking about it, and thinking about it. It’s the kind of movie that wrenches your attention away from its flaws with high-stakes scenarios that matter to you, even if you’re not particularly partial to the characters.

What kind of movie is Batman? I wondered that, too. It isn’t a superhero movie, not completely. Batman seems shoved aside in favor of the Joker, who behaves more like a serial killer than a super villain. Some of his plans reminded me of the Jigsaw Killer’s choose-or-die plans in Saw. So, is this a crime movie? A horrific thriller? It’s a movie about idols and hope and justice and making the “right” choice when it feels so much like the wrong one. It’s a movie where the villain only cares for anarchy and chaos, yet he always has a plan.

I saw the movie for the second time the Monday after the premiere, and this time I went to an AMC theater. Needless to say, by the time the movie started, almost every seat was taken. I came out smiling from ear to ear.

I will never get over Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne and his feigned arrogance. After watching Batman a second time, though, I wish Bruce had more of a social life. Sure, he hangs out with models and ballet dancers, but aside from Alfred and Lucius, he has no one. I couldn’t even imagine this Batman making any kind of time for a Robin. He barely has enough time to sleep.

And, after this movie, I don’t think any one else will ever be able to play the Joker. As some fans put it, it was as if Heath weren’t even in this movie. It was the Joker through and through. And though I kept searching his face for any signs of the actor I’d seen in A Knight’s Tale and 10 Things I Hate About You, I saw no resemblance. Even the brief glimpse we get of the Joker with his unpainted face looks like the Joker with an unpainted face – not like Heath Ledger. I appreciated every little quirk, the licking of the lips, the slowly opening eyes, the skewed shoulders, and the way the Joker climbs into the bus after taking out Gotham General and bounces in the seat, even though the audience can only see a shadow through the bus window.

But please, don’t see this for the actors. If you do, some of the others might disappoint you. I prefer Maggie Gyllenhall immensely over Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes, but she has no chemistry with either Batman or Harvey Dent. So when Batman freaked out that she’d been kidnapped, I had to remind myself that he actually cared about Rachel – because I didn’t.

The Dark Knight’s plot is tightly woven. Sometimes I didn’t believe pieces of it (the huge sonar machine?) but a second viewing answered most of my questions. My dad had questions about where the Joker got his ammunition and how he set up so many elaborate bombs – and where did the Joker come from anyway? – but my answer to that is, the Joker is an “agent of chaos,” as he calls himself. He is unthinkable evil, an almost all-powerful evil. He comes from nowhere, making up a different story for his scars each time. And, anyway, this is a superhero movie. Thankfully, you can ask a lot of questions of the Dark Knight – which is what makes it so great – but you can’t ask TOO many.

Ultimately, Batman is an experience. It’s the kind of movie that you feel in your gut is a great movie, but afterward, you wonder if you could ever watch it again. The last time I felt that way was with Pan’s Labyrinth, but Pan’s Labyrinth was just a hard movie to watch because it was so beautiful yet so up-front in its horror. Batman is just a trip. It’s physically draining. It’s anarchy and it’s a long, powerful ride, and it’s great.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

And if you haven’t yet, watch this movie. Let’s make this the biggest opening week ever.